Too Fat/Not Fat Enough

My whole life–

Too fat,

Not fat enough!

Too fat to be respected

Not fat enough to complain about it.

Too fat for healthcare, too fat for medicine

Not fat enough for my discrimination to matter.

I guess

You aren’t really fat

Until you’re in a wheelchair at walmart

Like Nikocado Avocado makes fun of.

At what point will you all recognize

The anxiety you project onto fat bodies

It is not their problem–

I have been photographed against my will in locker rooms

I have been harassed by people

Walking to and from rehearsal

Walking to and from class

Sitting on the bus, in childhood and in adulthood

Planes, trains, and automobiles–

Words for opportunities for the worst experiences

A fat person can have–

My career, my personal life, my friendships–

All negatively impacted.

Why do fat people hide, why do we

Stay inside?

Why make a podcast and blog

As a fat body and wait for

Years before you fully come out

As who you are?

Because of you all–

And your

Too fat, not fat enough nonsense.

I’ve been fat enough to be discriminated against

My entire life, and I will continue to try and lose weight

Because I want my fat ass on the top of the tallest highest fucking mountain someday

14,000ft was not enough for me I need to get

Higher, and be heckled harder

Climbing up a new peak.

You are all some of the worst people

I’ve ever met, and

I don’t give a single fuck about

Any of ya’lls weight–

I just want you to stop discriminating against me

Whether I’m too fat, or not fat enough–

It shouldn’t make a fucking difference.