Totally Separate From Gendah/People, Places and Things
I think there are
Nouns, so to speak.
I also think there are
Pieces of words we use to
Suggest gender, individuals and groups
Like little nuts, bolts and screws.
I believe in adjectives !!
Delightful, dastardly and downright descriptive.
When I started my journey
Of all this I was certain
I knew what I was doing and
Now that I have lived it
What it is
Non-binary folks want
That they can’t get, and the truth is
They want to be able to control
How they are perceived
By other people.
Trans people do not control
How other people treat them.
Doesn’t fucking matter
Cis people do not control
How other people treat them they simply
Fit inside the pre-existing frame.
The people, places and things
That I believe in
That I meet as I walk throughout society largely in
The American south, and Midwest— I wonder
There is no infrastructure existing
For non-binary people to fit into a frame.
At times I wonder if what they want
Is to destroy all frames
Alas, frames are actually
Super dope and handsome
They make pictures look better
Have you ever been to an art museum
And seen a work of art
Before the curator was able to frame it?
It’s fucking naked.
It’s amateurish almost without
Some strong dark mahogany holding it up.
Sure sure sure
Loads of art doesn’t need a frame but
Even sculptures have a base—
Even sculptures require
Engineering to hold it up and to make it
Last for longer than a few days
You need to have infrastructure
To thrive, to survive
You can create your own
But if you start swimming
The length of the ocean
And complain that no one is throwing you
A life vest, from their cruise ship
Perhaps you should’ve just bought a ticket —
Maybe there are places I could live
Places I could work
That accommodate non-binary people
Alas I have never encountered that
Not my “liberal progressive friends”
Not my “conservative religious parents”
Not my work, not my home, not my vacation
I don’t feel unsupported the same way
A dandelion doesn’t feel decapitated
I simply had to evolve and find a new way
To stretch into my new life, with skin
So tight it cracks and bleeds and leaves
A network of marks for all to see
I am not against non-binary people—
I am not against micro dosing
I am pro-reality I am
Pro-health and I am
Pro-home. You need to find home
Within yourself somehow
Without being able to blame
Everyone on the outside.
If the methods you use do that
Are surgery and hormones—
If you are like me—
Angry, lost, frustrated, looking for
A wall to punch, I might remind you that
Being non-binary is not something
You have to change yourself for.
Hormones take you from one side
To the other. You can’t adjust your code
To be between, you can’t wish yourself intersex
And if you have surgery it’s irreversible af
Best question to ask might be
What is it gonna take
To make people understand?
For me it was becoming a man, and knowing
Who I am. I am both a man
And a woman, and I can’t expect the world
To respect my identity I can’t
Nor do I deserve to, the same way
None of us do. If you want
To be respected
Show it to yourself, and teach others
How to treat you.
I didn’t realize the extent to which
People disrespected women until
I wasn’t being read as one, any longer.
Now that I’m a short fat soft sensitive poet pussy man
Lmfao I still get mad disrespected bro
The only difference really
At the end of the day
Is how I see myself.
The way the world is now there are
Men and women and
It matters not if you are trans —
Only if you are compliant.
If that bothers you you might have
Plans and agendas totally separate
3 Replies to “Totally Separate From Gendah/People, Places and Things”
I read your blog when it came through in my email. I am a bisexual, queer and androgynous lady who’s curiousity and willingness to learn made me take a look at other LGBTQA people in a new light. I’m here and I am accepting and supporting of all of us. I found your article profoundly moving and very deep. I feel that I have gained a better understanding of things from your point of view. Thank you! ~ Kimberly Ann Hoare
Wow! Thanks for making my day, Kimberly! Best of luck to you, I write a lot of stuff, not all of it is positive but I do try my best to keep it real
And keep it real you did. Thank you and seriously mad respect! (((Hugz)))