Transitioning Is Fucking Hard/Subtractions/Out Of Sorts

Just saying.

I dunno it’s like

Damned if you do damned if you don’t.

I’m glad I did but

Some days

I feel damned.

So broken.

Anyway I guess some people have

A euphoric experience I

Don’t and I haven’t although

There are moments I feel like

A lady with no tits and

A man with no dick.

Perhaps because that’s what I am

Nothing but subtractions

I feel contractually obligated to say

I enjoy this however the truth is

I’m fine, and before I was miserable.

I don’t know if that’s something

Everyone should deal with and

I do think it’s complicated

I know sex matters and

I know gender matters and

I know that all of this is just

Stuff that is

But goddamn if there aren’t days

And moments

When I wonder if I’m

Healing at all considering how

Inflammatory some of the therapies are.

Anyway I just recently

Stopped having hives from the

Gel that was giving me new life and

I don’t want to talk about it

Or even rhyme

I’m just sad and feeling

Out of sorts, all the time.