Unpopular, Brutal—
I feel like this is an important poem
Nobody will like, and perhaps nobody should read.
I don’t think distance relationships
Are healthy.
I think if you’re
Obsessed with pining
You should take up a more productive hobby
Or at least
Find somebody closer
Just as lonely.
Maybe it’s hard to find
“The right person”
Or maybe
When they’re that far away
Ain’t nobody can prove or disprove it.
Time passes and people change and
If you aren’t there to notice
Or share the experience
You aren’t there —
It’s that simple.
Ain’t no relationship just a
Status, a feeling, something fleeting
A force field to use in social company
“Don’t worry about me I’m
Desirable and committed
I just can’t get either one of us
To move in and prove it”
If this hurts your feelings, go ahead and call me
Bitter, but as a hopeless romantic
I found myself
Easily taken advantage of
By someone who never had to actually do
Any of what a relationship is.
Spending time on social media or on
The phone for hours is just
Normal shit people do
When they’re depressed, folks
In between short spurts not
Permanently, and yet
All the young queers I see on the internet
Old ones too, have convinced themselves somehow
That you have to perform
The romance from a digital realm
In order for it to be emotionally distant enough
To ease into vulnerability alas
Nothing about
The comfort of your own home
And your phone
Makes anyone vulnerable.
Relationships are hard enough
When they are IRL
Unpopular but brutal—
Distance relationships are just
A fairytale.
Do some of them work out?
Sure. Loads of people
Have dry spells. But from personal experience
I wouldn’t date anyone
I didn’t spend extensive time with
IRL
Also, straight up
Don’t kid yourself if you think
You aren’t controlling your narrative
From social media, and in person
Eventually, folks
You both have to acknowledge
That you barely know each other at all.