“What Do You Think About People Who Only Eat For Nutritional Value?”
One time a friend of mine asked me
“What do you think
About people who only eat
For nutritional value?”
I was stumped, honestly.
I didn’t know how to respond, so I just told her
“Like Soylent green? That shit is
Bad for your soul, didn’t you see?”
But what I really meant to say
What do you think
I am doing?
Eating for sport? Like Matt Stonie?
Or eating for pleasure, like Anthony Bourdain?
Are either of those options
Too thin for me, not the right fit! Right, see
As a fat person
I must clearly be eating to gain weight
On purpose, or be eating
To gain weight for pleasure
By dousing myself in millions of
Scandalous treats hour after hour
Waking up with a bukakke
Of chocolate syrup and caramel and
Whipped cream as my fucking alarm clock
I AM FAT!!!!!
MUAHAHAHAHA THIS IS WHAT WE ALLLLLL DO ALLLLL DAY LONG ALLLLLLL THE TIME
We bbq babies ribs and we
Suckle on society’s teet
Because dieting is fatphobic !!!!!!!
It’s not like it’s not something
We are all doing !!!!
But — I digress—
Most of all
Why we do it
Is because the baby ribs and milk of mother’s teet
Is soooo frighteningly delicious
Clearly I cannot help but overindulge
In all the ways one can eat
Besides what you do—
Because what else would explain
The elephant in the room?
The truth is far less sexy,
I eat, for the same reasons
To survive, to thrive, to pick up
Blood sugar, to try and be better
To eat more vegetables and less
I eat for the exact same reason you do
In the same way, but often
Much stricter, and with
I know how many calories are in
And If I want something special
I cook most everything at home
As a healthier version.
If you really want me to lose weight
You’ll stop running circles around me
Like a fucking coyote
And let me live, let me breathe
Let me finish, but most of all—
Let me fucking eat.