What Is My Beef With Vegans?

Honestly I just wish I could be

So extremist, rabbit-holed, willfully ignorant

About my diet

Without the intervention of other people

And medical science.

As a fat person—

I’ve never had such a luxury!

What a life. I can’t imagine.

This illusion of willpower

The fantasy of facts, all

Click bait nonsense

Ignoring much relevant data explaining

That while yes—

Plants are healthy, and should be

The majority of all of our diets—

Meat and meat products in moderation

Has been a cornerstone of health and societal stability

For centuries, long before Instagram.

What do you get

When you take a society

“Battling obesity”

And give it a light up box

To post pictures with?

Bad stuff, folks. Bad stuff.

Weight shaming photo montages

Fatphobic businesses

An endemic bias so deep

The general public is quite literally

At war with obesity.

I’m supposed to sit here quietly

As these people ignore facts

Facts like

People who follow a vegan lifestyle — strict vegetarians who try to eat no meat or animal products of any kind — may increase their risk of developing blood clots and atherosclerosis or “hardening of the arteries,” which are conditions that can lead to heart attacks and stroke


Levels of selenium, iodine and vitamin B12 are lower in vegans compared to non-vegans, which can be detrimental to their heart health. Low levels of these minerals and vitamins can also lead to thyroid problems, muscle disorders and anaemia.Apr 9, 2021


Non-meat eaters, especially vegans, had higher risks of either total or some site-specific fractures, particularly hip fractures. This is the first prospective study of diet group with both total and multiple specific fracture sites in vegetarians and vegans, and the findings suggest that bone health in vegans requires further research.


Am I gonna go outside

And shove some milk and eggs into

Everyone’s mouth?!

Am I gonna start volunteering

Smoked meats down at the local

Vegan juice bar?

Lmfao only if you ask me to,

Sounds like a fun Friday night !

I’m not going to do anything.

I’m just gonna live and let live

And post all of this information

Despite the fact that

It might not even apply to you!

Kind of like how people talk to me,

They see my fat body

They ask me about my diabetes

And they ask me what my vice is—

If there was any sort of

Equality between

Fat people and vegans—

I’d be able to go around

Ask vegans how their fractures are healing

Warn them about their increased risk

Of heart attack, stroke—

And ask them—

What’s your Vice, hun?

How come you feel the need

To fill this void with all these

Extremists and click bait asshattery?

You do this

Because you think you’re somehow

Better than everyone else?

Ohhh nooo right—

You do it for your health 🤣

Are you somehow

Above the laws of nature?

You won’t accept that perhaps

You have a problem

You’re refusing to deal with?

So yeah—

That’s my beef with vegans.

I can’t say any of this because

Socially, it’s unacceptable.

However it is

And will always be

Completely acceptable and understandable

To reject, humiliate, belittle and discredit

A fat body, a fat mouth,

A stupid fat asshole.

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