What To Suspect When You’re Suspecting

I can imagine that

If I had been born a man

I wouldn’t know that women

Also had sexual desires

And feelings

And ambitions, goals, dreams—

Things that keep them up at night

Things that make them worry

I wouldn’t know that their fathers’ expectations

Rest just as heavy

And that their mothers don’t help with anything

I wouldn’t know that everyone is always telling me

To be pretty, to have self-esteem

While they all criticize how much and

What they’ve been expressing.

I wouldn’t know that women can be masculine

Without being self-loathing

I wouldn’t know that I could be like them, either!

I wouldn’t know anything

Other than what the world expects from women

What I expect from them

But I would suspect that

Something is not right, considering how

Miserable all of these expectations are, and how

Paranoid we’ve become, checking and regulating

Everyone’s gender behavior


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