Who Died? Oh Right, I Did.
It’s weird when people know so strongly
When they feel it in their bones.
I would be certain, I would be sure
But been living as this dope lady
for a quarter of a century
Really makes things difficult
When you’re changing your name,
Changing your face, changing your
Identity.
I have to kill her off!
It’s the only way that makes sense.
Cut her throat, watch her die
The end of all this lying nonsense.
If I don’t kill her completely,
I will still want to be her.
She is dope, like I said.
A comfort, a friend, a lover
A person I want to support.
I can’t live as both, so I have to kill her
It’s the only way that makes sense.
It seems to brutal, so wrong
To murder yourself.
It’s not suicide, if you don’t die!
What is death, is it when a heart
Stops beating?
When lungs
Stop breathing?
Or is it when you change–
So much change that you stop being them
And start being new?
Oh god, this decision breaks my soul
In half, thinking about what it might mean
To be you, looking in.
Mind your own business, right?
BRB, killing my old self–
Others are supposed to stand by,
Not put up a fight.
I’m really going to kill her, ya’ll
What you’ve been begging for,
All you haters in the daylight
Fat stupid ugly mean bitch is gonna die
And then you’ll have him to handle,
Him to account for.
What is he and do I want to be him?
I don’t know him, who could he be
If we’re going based on the raw materials
Available at the scene
The man will be a jackass, a cunt,
A loner, stone-thrower,
Self-righteous and entitled
He’ll take up too much space and
Not reciprocate. Fall asleep too soon
After copious and quick copulation.
He’ll eat the last bite, and
Change the channel. He’ll work the least
And expect the most praise.
He will be a bastard, a liar
A selfish shallow smelly smartass
He probably won’t have such cute rhymes–
Or they’ll be twice as cute.
He’ll be tighter, smarter, wiser,
Smilier, faster, stronger
He’ll be more than she was
And when he is, she will die
He will be so many wonderful things
He will be me!
But unfortunately, the first thing he will do
When he steps off his high horse and
Enters her room is
Kill her, mercilessly.
She is for whom the bell tolls,
He is ringing it, and
He is she.