Who The Hell Does?

I will say

When detransitioners talk about

How they

“Never felt like they succeeded”

“Never felt like a man, a woman—“

What have you—

I wonder to myself

“Who the hell does?”

Literally No one

Feels their gender

It’s something you express

All the time, something other people

Assess about you, something

Perceived, something borrowed,

Something blue.

If a trans woman


And never feels like a woman,

What does it mean for her?

IMO nothing at all.

As a trans man

I never felt like a woman either! Lmfao

I guess my problem here is

I understand too well, what they’re saying

No one feels the gender they express.

Now that I’ve had top surgery

I feel the exact same

Just lighter up top, much less anxious

And much less overwhelmed and hopeless

About how I will be perceived when I leave the house.

I don’t feel like “a man” I don’t know what that even fucking means

None of my guy friends “feel” their masculinity

It’s like porn— you know it

When you see it

I knew when I was being misgendered, misunderstood

But now that I’m not?

I don’t feel much at all. Just content.

Perhaps you detransitioned because

Sex is immutable, or perhaps

The trauma of being trans was too much

No matter how much you did you still felt like

You’re stuck on the wrong side

For me, personally

That’s why non-binary

And genderqueer

And genderfluidity

Mean so much

It’s important to talk about how

None of us feel one way or the other

Gender isn’t a feeling—

It’s an expression. A communication

Not being understood is

Unfortunately, part of the human condition.

Sex characteristics develop in the womb

After our brains do.

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